A Bride's Lament

So I disappeared again – but you’ll have to forgive me. It was really for the best reason:  love. Yes, it happened to me this year. By this time next week, I’ll be able to change my FB status to “married.”

I decided to do a ‘modern’ version of an Indian wedding - partly to please my parents and partly because I wanted all those clothes an Indian bride gets! I’m such a glutton..I have four different outfits over two days.

Most of my extended family is coming, the final menu changes are almost set and we are hoping to strike a balance between Indian and European traditions as my fiancé is originally from Germany. We are having having kebabs as well as brats with sauerkraut; potato somasas with Koestritzer (German) beer.

We are having a bharath (a parade for the groom as he comes to the ceremony) but my groom isn’t coming on the traditional vehicle: a white horse; He’s showing up in a 1967 mustang convertible! Much more his style and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When I was looking for a lengha to wear at the reception, I was so dismayed that every Indian clothing shop I went to only had bridal lengha made of this plastic netting as a base. This trend started a few years ago in India and it seems to have reached every corner of the design world there. I know netting is easy to embroider on and also very cheap and easy to dye – but it’s still essentially plastic!

I have no idea why so many Indian women put up with it! Ten years ago– when I would go to India – I would lust after all these gorgeous silks and brocades lenghas and saris – many of them handwoven from different remote regions of India. Now, even if I had made a trip to India, it’s difficult to find something made without netting. They even make saris out of netting - in a land with the world's most beautiful textiles. I don't get it.

I kept thinking about all those weavers who no longer have work because designers are using this netting. It's more than just fashion - these choices and preferences have real impact on the silk and the handloom industry.  A mill can spit out miles of cheap netting made of plastic so easily - which is great for the factory owner - but it means weavers who used to make their living making beautiful brocades for brides have even less work.    I’m hoping this trend dies down soon and there is a demand for natural fibers and handloom again.

One night after trying several stores in the SF-Bay area, I was so discouraged and stressed out because my wedding date was coming fast. I actually threw up all over my fiancé’s boat (sorry Andre)! It wasn’t seasickness – the boat was still in the dock! It was that bad fabric - it literally makes me sick.

I did end up finding something - with real silk brocade and real chiffon! Yeh!